I am reminded today of an early spring day years ago when I was in the line at Walmart and the shopper in front of me pointed at the cashier and said “wow, what a crab she is!” I looked over and the cashier’s face was lined in a deep scowl. As the shoppers went through the check out and she gave the typical greeting, they only mumbled in reply and kept their heads down.
Are you familiar with the label “resting bitch face?” It is used for people who look angry when they are not actively smiling. I have that kind of face. So there have been many times in my life when I have been perceived or accused of “looking” something that did not reflect how I was feeling.
As I thought of the shopper’s comment and my past experiences, I wondered what would happen if I responded to the cashier differently than the other shoppers had. And so after answering to the usual “did you find everything?” I then asked her “so how is your day going?”
The still vivid memory of her response always brings tears to my eyes. With a joyful voice she practically sang her answer. “I’m having a great day! The sun is shining! Every day is a beautiful day!” Even though she sounded happy, her face still had a scowl. There was a hint of a smile, but it seemed she couldn’t completely overcome those wrinkles or downward turn that shaped her mouth. But her eyes were bright and shining!
And I knew at that moment that if I had only glanced at her and saw the scowl, that if I hadn’t taken the time to really engage with her, I would have missed those beautiful eyes and not heard that singing voice telling me what a wonderful day it was.
I wonder how often someone with joy in their heart is criticized or ignored because of their facial features? So many of us profess, “don’t judge a book by it’s cover,” and yet do it.
ALL. THE. TIME.
In directing the anointing of a new king, Samuel was told, “Do not look at [his] appearance…for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Sam 16:7) How blessed we are to have a God who knows our heart behind what others see and think they know us to be!