In a previous post, Praying at the Drop of a Hat, I talked about writing this blog in part to reason the source of my thought chatter pinging restlessly and disturbing the peace I had found in prayer meditation for so many years.
I am grieving the loss of a love companion, but I am not lonely.
I am grieving the loss of a life I hoped for in retirement, but wake up each morning joyful at what that day may bring.
I am grieving that God was so close and present during my husband’s illness and dying, but now He seems so very far away.
THAT.
I cannot explain or emphasize enough the intensity of His Presence that my husband and I both felt during that time. Though he did not receive healing on this side of heaven, we were given signs that our prayers were powerful and miraculous.
Moses asked to see God’s glory and I can say with all humble confidence I was blessed with a speck of recognition for what that must have been like. Perhaps these many months He is quiet because He knows my heart still needs rest.
In the weeks before his death my husband often said, “I am in the Lord’s hands.” This is the confidence I also have, all Christians have, even as no one knows what their future will bring.
So though I struggle to connect my thoughts and find the words to reflect what is in my heart, I am deeply confident in what the Spirit asks for me.
And somehow, I am still moved to continue writing this blog.
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It IS deeply reassuring that the Spirit intercdes for us with groanings too deep for words.
YES! it truly is. d
I honestly do not comprehend how people handle death, grief and loss without our Heavenly Father. It’s a comfort and peace that is hard to describe. You are strong, so strong to continue on until you meet your husband again. I watched my Mother go through this process loss, continued grief but she still gets up everyday and tries to help others as best she can. She has been a great example to her 3 daughters. I pray continued peace and strength for you. Take care
hi Tanya! yes, i So agree with you about not knowing how people get through hardship without our Heavenly Father. grieving, like living, is going through highs and lows. our faith has both mountain and valley experiences and i guess that is what i am blogging about. thank you for sharing your thoughts and i truly appreciate your friendship. denise